portal → illness → swansong.htm | You'r deep inside searchlores |
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Swan Song ~S~ | ~S~ | ~S~ | ~S~ or, if you prefer: "Soswswso!" pronounced with a sharp hissing sound, as if to show disapproval, displeasure or contempt... or maybe relief? ...image -say- a tired old "snake locomotive" suddenly escaping steam... ...and anyway: "Olorum morte narratur flebilis cantus, falso, ut arbitror,
aliquot experimentis" so take these silly ramblings
(Note 1) cum grano salis
Late April 2009 (0027) ~ Sour ~
Ok, so all the cures I had to undergo for almost two years: two complete and quite debilitating chemotherapy cycles, 4 operations, many biopsies, uncounted PET scans and MRIs, months spent inside a clinic... did not work out. The metastases escaped from the throat: my dutch professor managed to stop everything but not the liver tumour, and my liver is now imploding. So it is a matter of weeks, not even months. My remaining choices are to die in a clinic, to die home or to ask for euthanasia (the last I will of course do if needs arise... fortunately this is a civilised EU-country and religious nuts don't have here -at least for now- enough power to nuke my rights just to appease and placate the alleged wishes of their dubious godzilla). I'll go for home: it seems (again: this ubiquitous "seem") that I will die while asleep. I will "just" get weaker (and yellower, gosh: nothing like a terminal tumour to become really ugly) until one day I won't wake up any more. If so, fair enough: you go with a gentle puff on your final trip, an experience that btw is usually reported as unique and unrepeatable :-) Anyway if universe and time are really infinite (which I somehow doubt), then an almost "metempsicotically identical" combination of neurons will re-appear again somewhere, e.g. on another galaxy and planet... hopefully one with less imbeciles. |
Sursum corda!
Here a small collection of (slightly OT) books,
towns and specific places (and games!) that I really enjoyed and
by all means recommend to any reverser...
...however please note that this is just another semi-private blabbering, rambling, meandering snippet of searchlores,
and you probably don't really
need to read it :-) |